Organize time with your Partner – there are countless Benefits

Organize time with your Partner – there are countless Benefits

by Claire McFee Author of Organize Your Life

Our lives are so super-scheduled these days that we literally have to book in time for our partner and/or kids. Building and maintaining a healthy relationship takes time and effort. With the day-to-day pressures of work, children and chores it can be easy to neglect to nurture your relationship and to take your mate for granted. This guide is designed to remind you about the importance of fostering a healthy relationship. It offers basic tips to help you build a successful marriage every day. “A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I don’t mean proximity …Togetherness has to do with focused attention.” Gary Chapman

Communicate Effectively

This is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. It requires being an active listener-listening without judgment and not interrupting. Then having your say in a constructive positive way.

Make time for each other

Part of being able to communicate effectively is making time for meaningful conversations in a setting free of distractions. For example, turn off the television in the evening to make it possible to have a real conversation or order a pizza and catch up during a quiet night at home. This may sound like a simple concept, but how many times do you find you or your partner spending times in separate rooms? Watching TV? Playing computer games? Talking on the phone? Whatever the reason, spending some time and energy together by turning off the TV, shutting down the computer and finding activities to do together. Even if it’s just a 1/2 hour a day…the more you find that connection, the easier the two of you will be able to relate to one another.

Fight Fair

Don’t expect to agree on everything. An important part of resolving conflicts is being respectful of your partner’s feelings, even when you are arguing. Let your partner know you value what he or she is saying, even if you don’t agree. Avoid criticizing, ridiculing, dismissing or rejecting your partner or what he or she is saying. If you feel as though your anger is taking over, take a time out.

Make your relationship a Priority

Relationships are a ‘work in progress’. They need attention and effort to grow. No matter how busy you are, find the time to spend ‘quality’ time together, even if means scheduling specific times in your diary. Celebrate each other’s accomplishments together and cut your partner some slack if they are going through something stressful.

Show Appreciation

Saying thank you can go a long way toward making your partner feel special and appreciated. Even though you may feel that your partner knows you care, it doesn’t hurt to say thanks-even for every day things like cooking dinner, putting the kids to bed, or taking out the trash.

Maintain a sense of humor

Laugh often with your mate and most importantly laugh at yourself. Maintaining a sense of humor can help with tension, and help you get through a stressful time.

Compromise, Compromise, Compromise

Compromise is important in any relationship. If you disagree about something, discuss the problem calmly, listen to your partner’s point of view, try to put yourself in their shoes, and look for ways to meet each in the ‘middle’. This needs to be a two way street of course!

Practice forgiveness

There may be times when your partner makes a mistake or says or does something hurtful. While it’s understandable to be upset, it’s also important to learn to effectively let this go and move on. If you constantly bring up past hurts, it’s difficult to have a healthy relationship. It’s easy to lay blame on others, taking the focus off ourselves but as we all know it takes two to tango. Take a step back and look at how you might be contributing to the issue, and it will be easier to address.

Take the time for each other

Relationships are often romantic in the beginning, but as time passes life takes over-work, children, bills, the house-with the end result being taking each other for granted. Make your partner feel special by doing something romantic, no matter how small. For example, make breakfast in bed for your partner, make a date for a special night out, take a walk on the beach, or have a picnic. If you and your partner feel dis-connected, take note of how much time you actually spend consciously together. That doesn’t mean under the same roof, but in the same room interacting with each other. Put some balance in your relationship & find some activities that the two of you can do together to see if you can feel what connected you to each other in the first place.

Take time for yourself

It’s normal for couples to have different hobbies, interests and friends. While it’s important to spend quality time with each other, it’s equally important to spend time alone or with friends. For example, plan girls’ or guys’ night out, take a kickboxing class or join a book club. By making time for yourselves, you’ll appreciate each other more.

What you resist persists

Notice those positive qualities otherwise focusing on the negatives will only give you more of them.

In times of Conflict

If any conflict takes a turn for the worse, take a step back, count to 10, and go to separate rooms and each write down in what your concerns are. Come back in an hour or when ever you have both calmed down and read your list – remembering not to interrupt. By writing it down, you are giving yourself the opportunity to remain focused.

Breathe

How many times have you had an argument with your spouse? How might you have prevented that argument? Take a breath! Many times, when we feel attacked we begin to defend ourselves by talking over our partner and we stop listening. Before you know it, both of you are talking and no one is taking the time to listen. If you try to take a step back (physically and emotionally) to listen to your partner in their entirety, you might realize that they’re not trying to attack, ridicule, or insult you. Most times, they’re just stating their opinion. Once you really “hear” what they’re saying, you can respond rather than react.

Create a List

Write down what you and your partner think would make a good date, and add to it over time as life is sure to deal you all sorts of distractions rendering you incapable of being able to think of something special to do.

Take Turns

Be sure that both of you take turns of taking the other one on a date i.e. invite your husband and arrange the sitter, plan somewhere or something to do. Sometimes planning what is on his list and other times what is on yours but always making sure both of you are going to have a great time. It can be so lovely on a day when all is going crazy to get a pretty envelope in the post among all the bills inviting you out on a date the following day with a PS – don’t ask where we are going just dress to impress!

You know you are loved and the day goes so much better for it!